E Rated..?

Have you ever watched a beloved Disney movie that you enjoyed as a kid at the age you're at now? Did you ever think to yourself, "Dear god, how did I not pick up on these sexual references before?" Subtle messages are hidden in movies, videos, advertisments, and all other outlets of media and entertainment. Child friendly? E rating? I think not! It's funny that you don't see through it all until you have grown up. I find myself going through and playing Harvest Moon as an example at times and I just have to laugh at myself. I would never understand these juicy innuendos as a kid. I actually rather appreciate the sentiment, for it makes things appropriate for a younger audience, but it allows an older audience to enjoy it as well.

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I notice this more then anything else in video games. There are several games out there that have managed to get an E rating, but still squeeze in plenty of not so "e rated" themes. Here's a few pictures that depict perfectly what it is I'm saying:  

Nabooru is a dirty, dirty Gerudo! Tiny hole... *ahem*. She also mentions to Link (who, by the way is 10 at the time) that she will give him a special "reward" if he gets her what she wants. o_o A white van with "free candy" painted on the side would have sufficed, Nabooru. When Link travels through time 7 years, Nabooru comments: 

"If I’d known you would have grown up to look this good, I would have kept my promise." 

If that's not disturbing to you, then I don't know what is... 

Nintendo, I don't know why you insist on shattering my fragile innocent childhood.

Zelda is great for creating many, many, MANY innuendos... I will do a separate post for this at some point. 

Hell, who am I kidding, Nintendo is great for this.. greatest trolls ever.

 Ah.. I have not played Tales of Legendia in years. A great game that I'd recommend, and not just for sexual innuendos.. such as this one. The beauty of this joke is that I doubt Norma would ever think to herself, "that's what he said." Meanwhile, Jay and Will will sit there like a bunch of smug bastards giggling to themselves like school girls. Tales of Legendia isn't exactly an E rated game... but I thought this one was a good example regardless. Will doesn't let anybody else manage his junk! *wink wink*

I'm not going to say that this one didn't make me slightly disturbed/burst out into laughter when I saw it. Harvest Moon is by far one of the most "innocent" games that is out there in terms of friendliness for kids. Ironically enough, it's a game that is chopped full of hilarious sexual innuendos. For a game that pushes "good old fashioned values", things sure are getting raunchy with these ladies in Mineral Town! I wonder if Rick, Cliff, Kai, Doctor, and Gray would be upset if they found out that they weren't invited. 

Nintendo.. you are at it again. Pokemon is by far the worst (and best) game for sexual innuendos. I may have to make a separate blog post for this. There are mountains of priceless photos like this.There is no doubt that one of the most loved series of times would be littered with innuendos, especially as Pokemon keeps attracting an older, and older audience. This is just character dialogue! The deal gets even sweeter when you throw in the customized (and sexual) names of your Pokemon. You are not only the greatest Pokemon trainer in the land, but you are also great with the ladies. ;D

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Now that I have successfully managed to throw your minds in the gutter.. you're welcome!

I'm thinking I'll just do this for a few blog posts, like I said.. Zelda and Pokemon are absolutely littered sneaky references and not so child friendly language. Next time you're reliving a movie or game from your childhood, be on the look out for the hidden "adult spin" of things. You're guaranteed to find one.... or two.  

Best friends, forever..

This has always been one of the saddest scenes in Ocarina of Time in my opinion.

So little words but so many emotions involved in this brief scene. 

Your best friend leaves, and you can't leave the forest because you'll die if you do.

I feel that Link never talking adds to the scene, he has no words to say and just runs.

Your friend would grow up, and you'd be stuck a child eternally. 

I guess that's destiny, and I guess that is friendship.

Allowing your friends to do what they need - no matter the sacrifices.

And no matter the circumstances, you will forever be friends. 

<3

Sheik VS Link

 Now.. I am in no way, shape, or form a "fan girl". I don't watch enjoy hentai or fantasize about characters that do not exist, nor do I have anything against anybody who does. But I always get the question, "If you could theoretically have the hots for a video game character, who would it be?" I get that question a lot... for whatever reason. I haven't done a video game post in awhile, so I thought I'd answer this question, and that I'd also put through a battle/comparison between two of my tough choices. I'm going to think about Link and Sheik as if they were real people, so here we go!

Sheik

Why I love him:  

1. He's so mysterious.. which makes him intriguing. One minute he's there... one minute he's not. It makes you want to know where he is.. when you'll see him again. The sneaky bastard also always knows where you are.. seriously, how the hell does that work?! He's just like the guy that you could never have.


2. He plays the harp. It's so bad ass, yet so beautiful and soothing. Seriously, I don't know of anybody who plays the harp.. and goddamnit, he looks so good doing it.  


3. He's nimble and fast. Everybody loves a man who's nimble and in shape if you catch my drift. ;) All joking aside though, he just seems like he could run forever and he'd never run out of breath. I think this adds to the mysteriousness of his character as a whole. I also like somebody who's not a complete clutz, and Sheik seems far from a clutz.


4. He seems like this own character. I know that a lot of people are going to say, "What are you a lesbian? You do know that Sheik's really Princess Zelda right?" Yes of course I know this. But because Sheik is only in OoT, it doesn't seem that way. He feels unique, and maybe I was the only one, but when I was a kid I honestly didn't know that Zelda and Sheik were one in the same. When I found out I was a little heart broken actually! ;_; But because Zelda and Sheik seem so different.. I've always considered Sheik and Zelda two different people, although I know that in reality they're the same person. 

5. There's not enough of him!  I think part of the reason Sheik has always intrigued me is because he's only in one game out of all the games in the Zelda title.  I starve for more of him, I want moooooooooooooooar! I focus so much on the one and only Sheik that I know, and I cling on to him. Not in a.. "creepy fan/stalker girl way" but I do so because it's the only image and side of Sheik I have to go on.

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Link

 

Why I love him: 

1. He looks good in a skirt. Look... I don't know to explain this, BUT IT'S THE TRUTH OKAY?! Link's tunic is sexy as hell. In fact, I love his outfit so much that he'd be the only character I'd ever consider cosplaying. I don't know any man in real life who looks good in a skirt... or kilts for that matter. Blegh. 

2. I've always enjoyed his voice.  Again, don't ask me why this is. But his voice has always just sounded so.... suiting. Link is a silent character, but if he could talk I can imagine he'd have a nice voice.. manly, but not too manly. Still sexy though! Even if they did change his voice from version to version, it still stayed relatively enjoyable and suiting to his character. 

3. He's a good looking  bunch of pixels. I think this one is pretty explainable. But his figure, his sandy blonde hair, paired with some piercings and a nice face..... <3 If he was a real person, you bet your ass he'd be some hot stuff. 

4. He's a true hero! Link never complains and gets his shit done! Link's not trying to rescue his Princess who'd much rather be in the company of a certain dinosaur.. hell no! He's always doing something for his friends or for his Kingdom. A hero is somebody who acts for others, and not for himself. 

5. You can relate to the guy, and he'd probably make a great friend. Because Link really does act for others.. I feel that you can easily relate to the guy. Any person would do something for their friends if asked, or go out of their way for their girl. Many would want to keep their family/town safe or save their Kingdom in any way that they could. He'll help those in need, and he gets to tend to his sense of adventure at the same time. As a child (in OoT) I always felt myself saying, "Oh man Link.. I feel bad for you," being that he was so lonely and confused. I think we all feel like that sometimes. Link's a type of guy that'd you want to sit down and talk with. If he talked, I bet he could tell you some wicked stories. He'd always have your back. 

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Phew! Well.. that was long. I feel that I maybe didn't need to explain things that much, but I always like to tell people the reason behind things that I say. Maybe I put too much emphasis on people, and they should just remain a bunch of pixels. Maybe you don't agree with me, and have never felt a connection to a character, or thought to yourself "I wonder what they'd be like if they were a real person?" If that's the case then you probably thought this whole blog was strange and a huge waste of time.

Feel free (if you're comfortable with it) to answer the question "If you could theoretically have the hots for a video game character, who would it be?" I won't judge and I'd love to hear some input/answers. Also, do you like Sheik or Link more.. and why? Thanks for reading everybody!